Who knew..

Who knew that even when browsing through websites for clothes I could end up feeling a lil annoyed and depressed. Pictures filled with adorable girls with skinny bodies. Skinny. That's the freaking standard size for the whole damn species called famale! If your skinny your totally normal if your not then go on a diet. O fuck it! Might be the fact that I'm tired and I feel fat..yah, every freaking day I stare at skinny ppl..and they eat ALOT! WTF! Either wat contacts making my eyes itch like crazy. That could be the cause...maybe..

XOXO
J

Faint!

Well as you guys already know I am pretty bad with putting titles for my blog posts lolx... I have no idea why but I got chills down my spine and exploded with excitement in my head when I logged on to Twitters and Adam Lambert finally gave an update on what his up to. I think I am actually those kind of people that are easily influence? Cause I've decided to consider buying bags online since I saw my classmate having really adorable ones and their lasting and one bag caught my eye but am still considering..I've always had a habit of making up mind just like that and splurging just like that..thankfully I don't always regret what I splurge..but nowadays I have to watch what I spend on..Jenn's gotta grow up. She will splurge when she gets a job and joins the not-so-skinny-but-very-curvy-girls club!

PS. stuck in school's salon till 8pm. Let the rotting begin.
PSS. ATTACK OF THE MOSQUITOES!
XOXO
J

Cupcake and a pink beanie..and some crazy gal..

XOXO
J

What can I say?

Everything I say or do seems to put me on the spot that I'm the irresponsible bitch.

So what's left for me to say or do now?

Exactly nothing.

So guess all I can do is just take it all in.

Even typing this now people will think I'm trying to seem innocent.

Whatever.

I just wanna be left alone for this matter and just let it pass..

I'm tired and I think things have been settled..

So I just really wanna let this go.

Too Much Make Up, Dress Too Trampy&Attitude Problem

Wow...even typing out the title I feel as if I acting and looking really hootchy!

And OK...I'm loud...and I got some serious issues with my attitude but I do not dress trampy! I seriously don't think I do! I don't even have the figure to dress that way.

 Yes my top is low why on earth do you think I zip up my hoodie jacket so high?

And I seriously do not think i wear too much make up..maybe I went a lil too crazy with the pink today..but do not tell me how I should draw my eyeliner! I dare to experiment. That's all i can say.

And I didn't get in the audition. Hai Yen, Christine and Amanda passed. Except me.

I have to go for vocal training.

Dad told me off about my attitude. Was tick off. But his not entirely wrong.

Dad sort of took the persons side who said/criticize/diss/commented about my look today to my face infrnt of my dad, laughing about it holding my dad and shaking him as if their some old time buddies.

Dad says quote; "At least people dare to tell you in your face."

Point proven. But it's how you say it.

Was furious...and hurt and extremly annoyed till tears were boiling out of my eyes.

Well..here are pics of my eye make up and my dressing today...so you be the judge.

You can't really see the colors cause I'm using my webcam to take the pics.

Make Up colors and brand;

White (for base and highlight) from Silky Girl

Light Pink (lower layer) from ZA

Pinkish Red(upper part) from M.A.C

Purple (outer part) from Elianto

Purpleish Pink with silvery shine (also at outer part) from M.A.C

Liquid Gel Eyeliner from M.A.C

I won't kill you if you give me good or bad feedbacks on my comment. I might just hurt you.

XOXO

J

F.A.T

Fat, Fat, Fat...

My gawd! I need to loose weight!

There are a few ways to do so..eat healthy and exercises,

Smoke, eat normally and drink,

Smoke and eat only once a day,

Eat healthy, work out and smoke,

Be bulimic,

Be aneroxic,

Starve yourself and only nibble on your food.

XOXO

J

Friday 13th

Here's todays eye make up.

My sleep was interupted cause I had flam stuck in my throat and I had to cough until I almost puked to get it out. Then I couldn't sleep...so I ended up reading New Moon.

Then when I went to get ready to go out with sis to get our hair done;

I pooped..and lots of blood came out. So much till when I got up there was some on the seat.

KTM sucks. Getting there was bad...coming back was ridiculous...fucking people only know how to squeeze in but how to give you some space so you can get the hell out.

Pretty down cause I couldn't get a beanie to cover my hair.

Not happy that Aunty Peggy curled my fringe, but I love her work though...

And not happy I decided to recurl.

It's Friday the 13th..I knew it from the moment I woke up todays not gonna be a good day.

But I'm still giving out hugs and kisses to those who want it.

XOXO

J

American Idol Season 8's Adam Lanbert...

When I heard him on American Idol I totally loved him and hoped that either him or Danny wins American Idol...

But when I was out with my old classmates which btw I adore them and miss them even right now to death..yea you guys know who you are! (Sook Yee, Kwong Shin, Khai Mun and Yong Sheng) Anyway...my sis smsed me telling me that Adam could be gay...cause she found pictures of him making out with a guy and him and the guy dressed up as glittery drag queens! Honestly I couldn'y bring myself to post those drag queen pics cause I refuse to have such pictures on my blog! But here's the link for all you curious people just like me. Gutter Uncensored

What a messed up morning I had

The usual Saturday morning got woken up by nagging.

Yea, some of you may go all "Oh that's normal everyone goes through it." I'm not saying it's not true but mine is kind of different, don't believe me? Ask Jo.

My family's not perfect, we have a lot of issues with each other and  now it's kind of got me wondering if we werem't related by blood would we even have like each other or wanted to have anything to do with each other?

It's pretty hard to say.

I love the song by Three Days Grace titled Home. Especially the chorus part.

Friends are ALWAYS busy and broke...too broke when I call them out but apparently not when I don't.

As if I'm not fucking broke..

Whatever.

Gonna blast soe music...so what if it's Paramore? I love them!

No;

                                      XOXOthis time around from

J

again.

Listening to Paramore - Here We Go Again

Just for fun...

Like my boobs??

Yea, so do I...but too bad for you this is all your gonna be able to see.

it's about time I updated my blog anyway.

XOXO

J

Movies, mini oranges and Famous Amous cookies at Gid's.

Well I was suppose to go for movie with Angeline and Amanda today after church; but Amanda couldn't make it in the end and Angeline totally forgot about it. Don't they just rock? (rolls eyes.)

Then Gid was bugging me to go have a drink with him while he shop for shades...but I was suppose to go catch Underworld with my sis and Ry. But...change of plans...they couldn't make it.

So I ended up going to Gid's house with Jolene to watch movies...

Which was well fun..we laugh and got high on cookies and mini oranges..but for the movies...well that was another story.

We watched Zack and Miri make a porno...which was NOT funny!

And...

Nick and Norah's infinite playlist..an indi show on how music brought these two together..and Nick's bitch whore ex. (we ended up watching that cause Jolene was reading the book..not a bad show actually.)

Well i'm home now with my new keyboard that my sis just bought for me...it's so soft...so quiet...unlike my old HARD not to mention NOISY keyboard...

Gonna watch ANTM later and then play Rohan awhile with my sis..cause I got class tomorrow!

Yesh! it sucks of course it does! Cause apparently tomorrow is a public holiday for KL! And I live in KL and my school's in KL! And everyone I know doesn't have work or school!

So I'll be at school practicing basic facial on my partner...aihz...

I talk more than I type. Try shutting me up.

XOXO

J

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

What a title for the first post of the year huh..lolx...

I darnk Ribena with Vodka..thanks Jo..and ate Chocolate with Jack Daniels spilling out of it..thank again Jo.

Yes..I love liquor..but not beer.

Well tomorrow is the 5th.

Where school reopens for everyone..and I mean well- EVERYONE!

Christine's going back to college, kids are going back to school.

Those that graduated from high school are going to college.

Which one of them is me.

Although I graduated 2 years ago.

But hey I haven't been sitting at home being a junkie for the past 2 years.

I've been well busy last year.

And tomorrow I start beauty college.

You got that right...I'm terrified!

But there's a first for everything...

This school better be good...

And I better do good as well...

Gonna sleep soon..

Well everytime I say that I end up going upstairs and reading New Moon..over again...

Watching David Cook's  - Light On vid on my comp now...

Totally love his rock star voice...

Can't really sing right now cause well...I'm sick...hahax.

I know! WHat a way to start 2009 right?!

And I better not get worst when I go to beauty school..

I don't know if I should call it beauty school or beauty college...

Well...apparently the one I'm going to is quote

"Malaysia's first ever beuaty college."

Wow.

Anyway...realized today I miss a lot of my guy friends!!!

I miss Gid...strange huh.

And no Aly that doesn't mean I like him!

And I miss Wing Tsun too...

And NO PEOPLE! That doesn't mean I have feelings for him too!

And I miss Naz...

that bastard in Scotland...

And I miss Jeff!

That stupid kor in Singapore...

And of course Tommy kor kor...

And Nicol?

Maybe I'll sms him...

Oya..and Adam...

That asshole doesn't have time for me anymore..

He used to at first..until all his time magically disappeared to her and games...

Whatever who wants a girl friend like me right?

Loud...Weird...and not to mention crazy? Psychotically CRAZY!

And wanna know something funny?

Apparently Ryan's friend who met me one time at mamak, which if I'm not mistaken was on a Sunday and I had my black nails and dark make up with lots of eyeliner.

Apparently I freaked the hell out of him.

Didn't realize I actually fell into the punk category to others and I actually freak people out.

But well...guys like to call me evil and my reply will be;

"I'm not evil..I'm just misunderstood" googly eyes.

Sometimes I wonder if it's cause people who I count as friends got bored of me or sick of me.

I miss them.

ROAR!

XOXO

J

Over protective or a jealous b*tch?

Maybe I'm jealous that she likes someone that likes her back;

Maybe I'm just worried that she'll get her heart broken again.

Or maybe it's just strange for me to see how quickly she moves on and I wish I could be like her.

Maybe I am just a plain jealous bitch.

Sometimes I actually wonder why does she even bother to put up with me.

She knows me so damn well...

She knows what I'm capable of and how irresponsible I can be,

and how I am so emotional that majority of my actions are always based on emotions instead of my freaking brain.

Maybe it's cause it's the time of month and my hormones are pretty much haywire.

I hate it when this happens!

At least I haven't burst out crying over nothing yet.

I really miss her...but she ain't around, well I think she hasn't left yet. I ain't sure.

And I don't wanna sms her...she deserves to have fun and not have her eyes and fingers glue to the phone.

Not like anyone on the face of the planet replies an sms as fast as I do- well most of the time.

Sometimes I just don't bother.

Maybe I'm just thinking too much about things that shouldn't even be bothered about.

How long has it been since I was last in a relationship?

Don't know. Don't bother.

I don't want to be in a relationship with just ANYONE.

I'm sick of those awkward feelings I get from the guys I've previously dated.

I want to feel...comfortable.

This is me bullshitting again.

XOXO

J

Not in the mood

Not in the mood...
for X'mas;
to be nice;
to smile when I damn right don't feel like it;
to work;
to talk;
to answer idiotic questions;
to care;
to look at you;
to listen to you.

I couldn't care less if you think I'm moody;
I couldn't care less if you think I'm rude;
Cause I know I am and you're just annoying me.
You're not going to make me feel sorry;
So stop wasting your time and get on with you boring life.

If anyone cares...
Customers during sales are desperate, annoying, rude and stupid.
We're paid to serve and we don't even charge them for our service like in restaurants so if we ask what size your looking for do us a favor and answer us instead of digging through the pile and making a huge mess for us to clean up.
When I tell you the size you want we don't have it in stock, listen and move on, don't start looking through the pile to prove us wrong.
We gain nothing for lying and it's fine if you want to dig through the pile till your hearts contend as long as you don't mess everything up, like you morons always do.
Doesn't mean there's a saying "Customers are always right" means we.. well at least I follow by that rule.
My patience has it's limit and once it's cross even if I loose my job, I'll make damn sure you know what a freaking moron you are and how much trouble you've caused us sales assistants.

I'm tired so when I get home just shut up.

I'm in a foul mood... ain't it obvious;
But I'm going to say it anyway even though I don't feel it;
XOXO
J

I really like Nicol! (despite his name)

His sooooooo kawaii!!!! Despite his choice of a name lolx...
OK, I actually don't have a title for this post cause it's basically crap.
Well I've been sending wallpapers to fellow Twilight fanpires on deviantART...maybe I should start charging my work...hmm..tempting...and I am broke...but nah!
I'm just glad people like it...
Next wallpapers to make for myself on my list are Avril Lavigne and Paramore and of course MORE Twilight!!
MUAHAHAHAHA!
Today has been a very tired and boring day at work..and it's going to be another tired and boring day at work again tomorrow.
And yes I am very broke, and yes I still have no clue when I'm getting my pay.
Yes, I'm still a bitch, or well...I can be one.
And yah...I'm still saying I sing like a toad.
And you betca that no ones buying it...
COME ON PEOPLE! I CAN'T SING!
Seriously...
Have you heard me sing?
No?
GOOD!
And yah...people are telling me I should join the Christmas choir..but...I got news for ya'
Not gonna happen!
Why?
Simple...I'm working, I won't be available for practices;
And I can't sing.
And I stink.
So I'm gonna bath.
Now.
Yes.
NOW!

I don't wear any special perfume, it's all natural, it's call..rumpits!
XOXO
J

It's Settled

Going out tomorrow.
Everything is settled. Well kind of. YAY!
....
I think.

XOXO
J

All I can do is SCREEEEEEEEEAM AHHHHH~!!!! in my head

Well ever sice I lost my job all of a sudden I sort of lost it.

Maybe cause I'm broke and I can't figure out what I did wrong!

Aihz...

Well been looking for pics of cosplayers since last night for Christine and been pretty blown away by their insane costumes and their props.

Please note people who don't know much about cosplays...props for the character you're cosplaying must be handmade by yourself!

But..will find another job on Saturday fingers cross!

And will meet up with the rest of my old classmates later although I'm not really in a mood to catching up with all of them.

They've all got their own lives now...clubbing and smoking their lungs to death.

Hope I don't go smoking as well...I hate smokers.

But people change...aihz.

And my sweetie NS friend must IM me on MSN.

I don't know why I'm feeling so dead right now! Roar!

And it pisses me off that I got fired.

What? Do i have to be LALA now to keep a job?!

Now I don't even have the mood to finish up my design for the YF camp shirt.

And I want to go HUGE camp this year! So I need the money! I need a job.

Maybe I'll get one in town and screw the wrath of my dad when he goes nagging my brains out with how incovenien it is for me to work in town and dangerous and yya~da~di~da-d-a-aa-daaa!

Well as careful as I have been I still met flashers, pervs who masturbate while crossing the bridge. And Oh, I got molested while crossing the bridge to school in form 2 and less than a year ago snatch thiefs snatched my bag which I just bought less than a week ago with my digital cam in it near church cause I was going there to meet up with my CG for our PD trip.

So yea...life sucks.

Oh and I was harassed by an anti-christ last year over a forum me and Christine created, he joined cause he managed to manipulate a friend of mine and somehow convinced her his OK, yah right! Then the dude suddenly just stopped which was good. And then his friend showed up in church and lied about himself, which really whatever, cause I ain't got nothing to with it, he showed up cause of my friend.

And they showed up in church this year, Oh and cause of a post DQ did on one of them the dude went totally nuts and started getting all high and trashing us all.

Which I just get updates from friends I don't even bother to go in DQ's blog to read the load of drama happening inside. And even when I wasn't in it apparently I was one of the topics of the argument.

Yes, Jennifer is a goth. OMG!

Really? How come I didn't even know about that myself?

I will admit that I'm emo but not to the extend of being a goth. That's just hilarious.

Anyway sum it up a lot has happened...I mean all those are just part of the drama outside.

Inside these fall walls where everyone is related to you by blood. It's all smeared with drama as well.

That's just life unfortunately, and certain circumstances in life that has happened this week and blogging about them caused me to blog about some other stuff as well.

Oh well.

Anyway here are pictures of some cosplayers.

XOXO

J

Bitter Sweet Day

Well it is a Sunday after all, so yah I went to church.

Mom decides not to go, why?

No idea. So OK, fine.

But obviously somethings up.

So I was all emo when I got to chruch dress like some moron, and I decide why not ask a group of my pals to go have lunch with me. Which we did.

We had lunch at The Chicken Rice Shop (never going back there AGAIN!) with;

Alyssa, Amanda, Angeline, Charis, Ee-Yen, Gideon and Kumar.

Then we watched Eagle Eye;

with Alyssa, Amanda, Angeline, Charis and Kumar.

The Show was insanely AWESOME! Serious action pack!

Not gonna blog about the movie cause you HAVE-TO-WATCH-IT-YOURSELF!

 But here's why the title of the post is Bitter Sweet Day, cause this is just a sumary of what happened today and Saturday.

The daimond filer of our suddenly went nuts on us.

It's SPRAYING water, so how on earth are we suppose to wash plates when it's spraying water at all directions!

And since it's still under warranty, my sis suggest to my mom to call the shop and ask them to fix it. Her answer, "What for! I don't want to call! No need!" ...whatever.

Then when I go to church I see him happy, happy, happy. That's how he is when his out total opposite when his home. Way ago man! You fool everyone!

Feeling the stress; sis is unhappy! Loosing it and is pissed off.

I'm unhappy having to put up with the nagging from the moment I wake up until before I sleep at night.

The drawing I did for the youth camp T, I was actually really happy about it. Then when I worked on drawing the font in front of him one morning he says "You're not going to get paid for drawing. So why do you keep on drawing." Shouldn't you be supportive that I'm doing something that makes me happy? Guess not.

I stopped drawing the moment he said that. It happened on Saturday before I left home.

Every single time I wash my hand and he asks me if I have and when I say yes, he will say "Yah.." in a total sarcastic, are you trying to fool me way and goes, "I bet you only wet your hands!"

And when I get damn pissed off and say it in a pretty nuetral way "Why everytime I answer you, you must always find ways to counter back?"

And he'll stand there and give me the "How dare you talk to me like this." look.

And then the T shirt design, I finally finish the pattern and I'm really satisfied with it. And he ruined it all by saying this while we were watching Disney Stars Games 2008;

"See the T their wearing the design is SO simple only. Haven't you heard of simplicity? Where got people wear the shirt the design like your's so many things on it."

I felt crush at that point. Yes their T design is simple.

Why? CAUSE IT'S THE DISNEY CHANNEL LOGO ALONE!

What do you mean "Where got people wear the shirt the design like your's so many things on it."

Tell you what. You know those shops like..hmm..let's see Tropicana, QuirkSilver, Roxy and every damn right store has T's with LOTS of crazy designs on it!

I don't even want to start with the money issues, weight issues, looks issue, dressing, nails!

And the amount of shit load you ask me to do cause you're too damn lazy to them yourself.

And how everytime you guys ask me something and when I answer her you guys will always cut me off.

And how when I open up with my problems you guys will say things that hurt me even more.

And how you guys always never consider how I feel!

No one will ever understand why I'm so unhappy cause I keep it all in!

Only my sis knows cause she goes through it too!

The only keeping me from not hating you more than I already do, is the fact that we're bonded by blood.

XOXO

J

It's about time!

Earlier I posted on how frustrated I was on how my design just isn't working out.

Well after that post I took a shower and went to sleep.

Sis was right I just need to find what feels right for me and just draw it out.

Cause I have like this vision of it being really in your face and hardcore.

And yea, I still want that but I'm having a hard time doing it cause I've never drawn any hardcore free style kind of designs before.

But I sort of have an idea on how I want it. And I'm hoping it'll work.

*Fingers cross.*

XOXO

J

Ginger = Shit Eater

Now, now don't get me wrong.

I love my baby to death, and it's perfectly normal for dogs to eat their own shit.

And IT IS very disgusting.

And the amount of times she's done it, even I've lost count.

She secretly eats her shit when we're busy and she just pooped.

She knows when she's caught cause she will try to run away whenevr she sees us coming out of the house.

Yes she's a smart dog.

But she's still a dog.

XOXO

J